The Strength I Found Through Menopause

For years, I thought strength meant coping quietly. It meant delivering the programme, keeping the family moving, meeting expectations and smiling when life felt heavy. I had absorbed the idea that resilience was a form of endurance: keep going, keep performing, and make sure nobody sees the cracks.

Menopause changed that definition. It brought physical symptoms, emotional uncertainty and questions I had postponed for far too long. It also gave me an unexpected opportunity to listen to myself. In the middle of the disruption, I began to understand that real strength is less about appearing invulnerable and more about being honest enough to ask what I need.

My experience was personal, but it connected me with countless women who had been told to minimise their symptoms or accept feeling unlike themselves. Speaking openly became part of my healing. It showed me that women’s wellbeing belongs in everyday conversations, workplaces, families and public life.

When My Body Changed The Conversation

Menopause did not arrive as a single dramatic moment. For me, it was a collection of changes that were difficult to interpret. Sleep became unreliable. My mood could shift quickly. I experienced anxiety, exhaustion and a sense that my usual confidence had moved further away from me. Some days, I questioned whether I was failing at things I had handled easily before.

The hardest part was the uncertainty. When a symptom is visible, people tend to understand it. When the change is internal, it can be tempting to dismiss it as stress or a busy season. I had spent much of my life being capable and productive, so admitting that I was struggling felt uncomfortable. I wondered whether I should simply try harder.

Eventually, I recognised that pushing through was making the situation worse. My body was communicating, and I needed to stop treating those messages as an inconvenience. That shift required patience. It also required medical advice, better information and conversations with people I trusted. There was no single solution that transformed everything overnight, but there was power in taking my experience seriously.

Redefining What Strength Looks Like

I used to associate strength with control. If I could organise the details, meet the deadline and remain calm under pressure, I felt secure. Menopause exposed the limits of that approach. There were symptoms I could not schedule away and emotions I could not manage by pretending they were not present.

Gradually, I began to see strength as a more flexible quality. It could be found in resting without guilt, changing a commitment, saying no or admitting that I did not have all the answers. It could mean booking an appointment, researching treatment options or explaining to someone close to me that I needed support rather than advice.

That understanding has influenced the way I speak about personal growth. We often celebrate visible achievement while overlooking the private work required to remain well. Yet self-awareness, boundaries and recovery are forms of leadership too. They help us make better decisions and create healthier relationships with our time, energy and ambitions.

Menopause also taught me that vulnerability does not cancel credibility. Sharing the truth about a difficult period did not make me less professional or less capable. In many ways, it made me more grounded. I became more willing to lead from experience, to acknowledge complexity and to make room for other people’s realities.

The Confidence To Be Seen

Broadcasting taught me how to communicate under pressure, but menopause taught me how much communication depends on honesty. I could speak confidently about current affairs, entertainment and other people’s stories, yet I had to find a new language for my own experience. That process was awkward at first because there was still so much embarrassment surrounding women’s health.

I began to understand that silence protects the problem, not the person. When women cannot name brain fog, hot flushes, poor sleep, low mood or changes in confidence, they may assume they are alone. They may also blame themselves for a transition that deserves understanding and care.

My work on screen and at live events has given me opportunities to connect with people in different settings. The TV and events work reflects a career built on conversation, presence and the ability to meet an audience where it is. Those same skills became useful when discussing menopause. The most important moments were often simple: listening carefully, sharing without judgement and allowing another woman to say, “That is happening to me too.”

Being seen can be restorative. It reminds us that our identity is larger than a symptom or a difficult season. I am still a broadcaster, author, speaker and mother, but I am also someone who has learned to treat her health as part of her success rather than a separate concern.

Lessons I Carry Into Work And Life

One of the clearest lessons was that energy is not an unlimited resource. Before menopause, I often measured a good day by how much I had completed. Now I pay closer attention to how I feel while doing those things. Efficiency matters, but so does sustainability. A full calendar is not automatically a meaningful life.

I have also become more intentional about boundaries. They are not walls designed to keep people out; they are guidelines that help us remain present for what matters. Protecting recovery time, being realistic about commitments and stepping away from constant availability can improve both performance and wellbeing.

This matters in professional environments, especially for women who may be managing demanding roles while navigating hormonal changes. A supportive workplace does not require everyone to disclose personal medical information. It does require flexibility, respect and a culture where health concerns are not treated as a lack of ambition.

Menopause has made me more compassionate towards the versions of myself that were doing their best with limited information. I no longer see every difficult day as evidence that I am going backwards. Some days call for persistence; others call for adjustment. Wisdom lies in learning the difference.

Building Resilience Without Becoming Hard

Resilience is often described as the ability to bounce back. My experience has made me question that image. We do not always return to who we were before a difficult chapter, and perhaps we are not meant to. Resilience can mean moving forward with greater knowledge, altered priorities and a deeper respect for our limits.

That kind of resilience is not passive. It involves noticing what is happening, gathering trustworthy information and making choices that support long-term wellbeing. It may include professional advice, conversations with friends, changes at work or a decision to stop measuring yourself against an earlier version of your life.

I have written about building resilience because life rarely follows a neat timetable. Menopause is one of those experiences that can make an old coping strategy impossible to maintain. The answer is not to become tougher at any cost. It is to develop a wider range of responses: flexibility, self-compassion, courage, humour, patience and the willingness to seek help.

There is strength in adapting before a crisis forces us to adapt. When I make space to recover, I am not abandoning my goals. I am giving myself a better chance of reaching them with health and integrity intact. That lesson applies far beyond menopause.

Turning Personal Experience Into Shared Support

The most meaningful part of speaking about menopause has been seeing how quickly a private concern can become a shared conversation. A woman may arrive believing she is the only person struggling with concentration or sleep. Once the subject is named, others often add their experiences. That exchange can reduce shame and replace isolation with practical understanding.

This is central to the spirit of This Girl Is On Fire. Empowerment is not a demand for endless confidence or constant achievement. It is about creating the conditions in which women can make informed decisions, use their voices and recognise their value through every stage of life.

I believe education must be accessible and balanced. Menopause is not identical for every woman, and there is no universal experience or single route through it. Personal circumstances, health history, culture, work and family responsibilities all shape what support looks like. Respecting that variety is essential.

The conversation should also include partners, colleagues, managers and younger generations. When menopause is treated as a normal part of life rather than an embarrassing secret, people are better equipped to respond with kindness. A thoughtful question, a practical adjustment or a refusal to mock symptoms can make a profound difference.

Practices That Help Me Stay Strong

My approach continues to evolve. I pay attention to sleep, movement, food, stress and the quality of the information I consume. I try to notice the difference between genuine tiredness and the pressure to prove that I can manage everything. That distinction helps me make choices before I reach complete exhaustion.

I also protect time for activities that reconnect me with myself outside my responsibilities. Writing, speaking, connecting with people and creating conversations around women’s wellbeing all remind me that purpose can grow from difficult experiences. The chapter I feared might diminish me has expanded the work I care about.

A few principles now guide my decisions:

• Treat persistent or worrying symptoms as worthy of professional attention.
• Replace self-criticism with curiosity about what your body and mind may need.
• Build relationships where honest conversations are welcomed rather than dismissed.
• Set boundaries around time, energy and commitments before resentment takes over.
• Measure progress by wellbeing, clarity and alignment, not by productivity alone.

These practices are not a strict formula. Some weeks are easier than others, and I still have moments when old habits return. The difference is that I recognise them sooner. I know that asking for support is a responsible act, not a personal failure.

The Woman I Am Becoming

Menopause took away some of my certainty, but it gave me a more honest form of confidence. I no longer need to pretend that strength means having a perfect answer or an uninterrupted supply of energy. I can be ambitious and tired, visible and vulnerable, decisive and still open to learning.

It also changed the way I define leadership. Leadership is present in the choices we make when nobody is applauding: seeking help, protecting our health, telling the truth and making it safer for someone else to do the same. These choices influence families, organisations and communities.

I am grateful for the perspective that came from a season I would not have chosen. It taught me to listen more carefully, speak more openly and value the whole person behind the performance. My strength is no longer built on ignoring what I feel. It is built on responding to myself with honesty and respect.

If your experience has made you question who you are, remember that change does not erase your story. It may reveal abilities that were hidden beneath old expectations. Begin with one conversation, one informed decision or one boundary that gives you room to breathe. Keep moving towards a life in which your health, voice and ambitions are allowed to exist together.